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Writer's pictureDr. Bhupender Kumar Som

Chaos Inside of Me


Mental chaos is one of the major factors that disturbs ones’ growth professionally, socially, and individually. The conflicting thoughts are the biggest hurdle in maintaining focus and thinking straight.

When I look in to conflicts going inside of me, I establish that this mental chaos is due to three components that guide my psychological state. These three components are; (i) what I am? What I want to be? and What should I be?. Now, “What I am?” is determined by, Mother Nature or GOD, parents, creed, race, birth place and else. I mean to say, that everyone born with some set of natural instincts. It’s very complicated or almost impossible to shape these instincts as per need and want. One has to live with them. It doesn’t matter one likes them or not. Whether they are good or bad. So one has almost zero control on; what am I? For example, you like a particular colour and you may have not thought about it ever that, why do you like it?

On other hand, “What I want to be?” Is largely driven by the surroundings and social ecosystem one has grown-up in. Friends, neighbours, home environment and things like that. These things influence ones’ defining of goals. One may realize in later stages of life that, what I want? Should not be affected by surroundings, but it’s too late. When the mind was raw, profound impression had already been made. Partially it is also driven by what am I?


“What I should be?” is characterized by family, relative, friends and society. How my family want me to be, how my friends want me to be? How society want me to be? These things decide what I should be? People around you care least about first two things, they just erect expectations of their own. The social pressure and the emotional sense of the raw mind wishes to fulfil the expectations of all and mostly try to guide the life with, “What should I be?”


All three components try to govern the mental state of an Individual. They pull one in different directions but with some common characteristics. For instance; one such common characteristic may be, that I was born with a natural instinct of ambitiousness, my environment was full of ambitious people and my family wanted me to be ambitious as well. This is the most favourable and rewarding ecosystem an individual can have.

The more common or overlapping characteristics one finds in three components, greater the mental peace the individual is at. Lesser the common characteristics one finds in three components, the higher mental chaos one experiences.

In order to achieve the best mental state one shall be able to differentiate three states and shall be able to maintain the perfect equilibrium amongst.

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